i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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