I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
