Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
