This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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