your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
