why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
40s are totally the cure
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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