Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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