Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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