just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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