it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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