Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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