the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
