i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
