Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
