maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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