im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
