My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
