is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
