We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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