Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
