I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
