this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
