It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
