hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
