How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
