I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
