i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
