Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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