haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
