Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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