So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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