When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
