So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
