Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
false alarm, still single
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
