Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
