We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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