Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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