I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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