she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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