i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
