the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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