Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
