I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
