i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
