I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
