Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
