Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
