While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
