who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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