Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Yo dont text me then not text me
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
