it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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